Nip the Tip

I was going to do the meme I was tagged with from Jennine today, but I read a passing comment over at Suburban Turmoil that reminded me about something I've been meaning to write about for the last week and a half. I'll expose my weirdness tomorrow, I promise.

When you have a baby boy, one of the decisions you have to make it whether or not to the have the little guy's little guy snipped or not. Many years ago it was done as a matter of routine and parents probably didn't even get a say. It was just done. When I had the Tween nearly 12 years ago I was at least asked but the expectation was that I would have him circumcised.

And I did. Not because the doctor pressured me into it, or because his father insisted, but because I felt he should have it done. I'll get to my reasons in a bit, but I never regretted it, even though several years later my maternity nursing instructor told me I had traumatized my son for life - those were her exact words - and the trend has been increasingly moving away from not having it done.

When I learned I was having another boy, the Hermit and I discussed it and we were both in agreement - nip the tip. So towards the end of my pregnancy with Clive, I asked my OB about it. I've learned that things in Australia work differently and knew I shouldn't assume he'd be the one to do it. I was right. In fact, there is only one doctor in all of Brisbane who does circumcisions. I know we're not a big city, but only one??? And it wasn't done in the hospital? How long would I have to wait for an appointment? It was Christmas after all, and people go on long holidays at this time of year. Perhaps I should find a rabbi and claim some kind of Jewish decent through my brother Gabe in order to have it done.

Faced with these unknown factors, I thought it best to go over why I was having it done. Was I unconsciously doing it because of familial expectations? No, my feelings were my own. Was it important that Clive look like the other boys? Well then if that were the case I'd leave it alone, so that wasn't it. My reasons were medical. The incidences of some fairly nasty diseases, including HIV, are lower among men who have been circumcised. And I've seen cases where uncircumcised men ran into various problems and had to be circumcised as an adult. Not pretty. You think men are sensitive about their bits on a day to day basis? Tell them a doctor wants to cut it apart and watch their eyes.

But what about Clive's right to decide? Shouldn't I leave it for him to decide when he's old enough what to do? After all, it's his penis. I can't buy into that argument. I'll make literally thousands of decisions about what is best for my children before they reach age 18; it's my job as their parent. This is just another one of those decisions. If he wants to hate me for it later, so be it. He'll also want to hate me for making him have his hair cut or denying him that nose piercing. And for the record, the Tween shows no signs of needing circumcision counselling.

So I made my appointments, managing to get seen before Christmas, and was comfortable in my decision. I was even more so after my initial consultation and having the procedure explained. It used to be a commonly held belief that newborns don't feel pain, and so many circumcisions were done without the use of anaesthetic. Fortunately this has been proven false, and even more fortunately this doctor firmly believed in using local anaesthesia. (How many of you know of doctors who do things the way they've 'always done' despite changes or new research?) I was given a tube of EMLA cream and instructions on its use.

Two hours before the procedure I was to apply the cream to his wee bits and then wrap it in cling film. I'm not making that up. My son's privates were to be wrapped like a leftover sausage. I needed to reapply the cream and wrap every 30 minutes or so, so I broke out my scissors and Glad wrap and cut tiny squares for his use. Watching me wrap something so small was pretty funny, I have to admit.

The procedure lasted all of 10 minutes, and the only reason Clive was screaming was because he was hungry and I wasn't feeding him. That and he hates having his nappy changed anyway - he cries nearly every single time I change him, pre and post nipping. I feed him immediately afterwards and he slept on the ride home. There was no bleeding and he wasn't bothered when I bathed him that night. The Plastibell fell off 5 days later with no dramas. All in all a successful procedure.

As I sat in the waiting area confident in my decision and waiting our turn, I noticed a couple sitting across from me. The mother was a young Asian woman, and the father was an older Caucasian man. Fifty if he was a day. After the nurse took their son, the woman hunched over and started quietly crying. Not just a few tears, but silent sobbing. Her partner sat next to her, absently patting her back. I wanted to smack the man upside his balding head and tell the woman to go and collect her son. Because while I was in favour of having my son circumcised, it is an extremely personal decision. This woman was obviously distressed by it - circumcision is not common in Asian cultures - and seemed to be going along with it because her Aussie husband wanted it done. Bastard.

So the moral of my story is if you want to have it done then do so. If you don't, then don't. But respect the decision of the parents. Look at the for and against arguments and come to your own conclusions. Be in agreement. Listen to the opinions of others, but remember that opinions are just that - opinions, not facts. The fact is that baby boy is your child and you call the shots.

To nip or not to nip - that is the question.

UPDATE: Clive had his two week post-nippage check up yesterday (11 Jan) and guess what? He's fine. His bits are fine. Although I had to fight the urge to giggle when the doctor referred to the "puppy fat" that is my son's penis. Must remember to use that one some day...